Rhode Island couples have likely been spending more time together than normal since this year’s pandemic outbreak. Being stuck inside may be causing you and your spouse to fight more frequently, either because there is no chance for alone time or because of the stress of the unknown. Before doing something rash, you should stop and assess the fitness of your marriage and determine whether you are going through a temporary rough patch or a deeper relationship crisis.
Would you be happier alone?
This may sound like a basic question, but it is an important one. If you recently lost a job as a result of COVID-19, it is almost certainly the case that you would be stressed or depressed even if you were not with your partner; in other words, your partner is not the root of your problems. If, on the other hand, you feel you have stagnated in your personal growth because of the relationship you are in, then it may be time to consider a separation.
Do you and your spouse still treat each other with respect?
In all long-term relationships, there is a tendency to take the other person for granted and to stop treating each other as kindly as you may treat friends, or even strangers. This problem can often be resolved if you and your partner are willing to put in the work and have some self-awareness, but you have to be willing to communicate, compromise, and listen. Make sure you and your partner validate each other’s feelings and needs and treat each other with the common courtesy that you would show to a friend whom you were asking for a favor, rather than just expecting your spouse to do things for you.
Do you want to be around your spouse?
Even if there is a dry patch in terms of your sex life, your spouse should still be someone whom you want to be around physically and be with emotionally. If you find yourself not wanting to spend time with your spouse, or if your emotional needs are being met outside the marriage, then it may be time to consult with a family law attorney about possible divorce.